on mentoring: a followup

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post on mentoring. I was feeling a certain lack of mentorship in my life as well as thinking that if I was asking, I better be giving back. First of all, the response to that post was totally amazing. So many of you responded to the questions I posed with your own views on mentorship, how it was revealing itself in your own life and how you were mentoring others. I also received some nice personal messages about your experiences with mentorship and yes, a few asking for some mentoring — which I was happy to offer!

Opening up this discussion on mentorship has taught me a few things. For starters, a mentor is ideally someone whose career path you are inspired by and hope to emulate or follow in their footsteps. I realize that in my original post, I was seeking more accountability, and that’s not really a mentor’s job. That is closer to the role of a life coach, which would be someone whom you would exchange currency with for their services.

A mentor is someone whom you ask for guidance from time to time, and perhaps even volunteer for in order to expand your own learning and experience. I’m sure there are other mentorship relationships where you’re lucky enough to already be working for your mentor in a paid position. I wish we were all so fortunate! The point is, there are mentors all around us, and there aren’t any hard and fast guidelines other than looking up to this person, respecting what they have created in this world, and knowing that they have something to teach you.

Here’s a special note for anyone receiving goodness from a mentor: follow up with them and let them know how they helped you! It’s one of the best ways to show appreciation for their time.

Since that post, and in order to satisfy some of my accountability goals, I actually did connect with a coach for a few sessions. My friend Alla Zollers, who some of you in the UX field may know, is just starting out on her coaching career change and I had the good fortune of being one of her guinea pig clients. Wow, coaching is way different that mentoring because the mirror is pointing right back at you. The best thing I received from these sessions was identifying and isolating my values and understanding the importance of honoring them in my work. That’s really important advice for someone like me (perhaps I’ll tell you more about that in a separate post). If you’ve thought about working with a coach, give it a shot. There are coaches for every possible thing you might want to improve in your life — and I do mean everything.

To keep the creativity train moving, I also created an accountability group amongst some of my peers. This has been incredibly rewarding. This group is currently limited to women, predominantly on creative career paths, most of which have independent businesses or are freelance. Every Monday (or thereabouts), we share our goals, big and small, and check in again on Friday to report back on our successes and… near misses? I don’t think that anyone uses the word “failure.” Each week we’re just trying our best to get to the next step. Throughout the week we share business advice, good news, and other odds & ends. It’s been awesome to have community support. I highly recommend getting serious with some of your peers about goals & big ideas and starting your own accountability group!

As a result of sharing my post, I was also linked a few times to a project started by Diana Kimball called /mentoring.

/mentoring is an open & distributed initiative designed to light the way from serendipity to connection, founded on the belief that believing in others is transformative.

The purpose of /mentoring is to get people to essentially hang their sign out that they are open to mentoring. No need to wonder or ask, they’re announcing to the world that they are willing to help others and will provide their time and thoughts to those who seek guidance in the areas that the mentor has established they have experience in. I love this idea so much! I haven’t officially hung my sign yet, but I plan to. It took me long enough to write this post!

So my parting thoughts to you are as follows:

There are mentors everywhere. Be one, and seek them out. Respect their time and value their expertise. Be understanding if they can’t get back to you right away. Pursue mentors that are on a path that you would like to explore.

If you are seeking a more formal relationship with goal setting, accountability, and a deeper dive into determining your career values, consider working with a coach. There are lots of them out there, in every specialty, and most offer a variety of pricing structures: group coaching, one on one, etc.

I don’t want to ignore the fact that some people just need some therapy, they need to look back to look ahead. There’s no shame in this! Everyone could use a little therapy in my opinion :)

Create an accountability group amongst peers. There are so many free community tools out there like Facebook and Google groups. Make an appeal to the people who you think would add value and if you’re the one starting it, commit to keeping the group active. If that’s not your bag, identify a group member who can carry on that role, or create an environment and a routine where people know to share the responsibility. Be respectful and have fun.

Consider hanging your sign out as a mentor and join the /mentoring movement!

If you have any new thoughts on mentorship since we last checked in, feel free to comment below!

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on consuming things and stuff

I read an article in The New York Times the other day entitled When Today’s Deal Is Tomorrow’s Regret, about people who have fallen victim to a “great” deal via Groupon or LivingSocial, only to find that they didn’t actually want or need the deal and it turned out they often spent more money and time doing their best to redeem the deals before their expiration date. Yay! I got a great deal at a restaurant that I don’t really like, that’s kind of far away. Sounds awesome.

As a longtime unsubscriber of both sites, I haven’t been subject to such purchases for quite some time. Early on, I did get some great deals — like a discount at a store that sells running shoes (I needed a new pair) and a pop-art store where I had just bought a print (bought a few more). After a while, all the deals sounded the same to me, and they weren’t relevant to my needs or wants. Knowing that the best deals would rise above the cruft on twitter, I cut my ties and moved on.

Then came Fab and I got hooked. Finally a daily deal site that was promoting artists, true craftspeople, and beautifully curated design. I was in LOVE. I referred my friends constantly and racked up some serious credits. I purchased several random items: 2 chunky necklaces (I’ve never worn either), a few great prints (still in their cardboard tubes), some super fun t-shirts (worn regularly).

I’ve got nothing against Fab. I think they’re an amazingly evolved model of the daily deal targeted to an audience that loves design, quirkiness and personality. I just made the realization that this is more stuff, and I don’t need more stuff right now. I kind of have enough.

My relationship with stuff is a work in progress. I’ve spent the last year purging a lot of stuff from my life. Stuff being actual stuff (clothes, tchotkes, etc), ideas, philosophies, and yes, people. It’s refreshing! Imagine opening your closet and it’s filled with all your favorite clothes, every day. Or going to a party and it’s all of your best friends, esteemed colleagues and people you admire or have always wanted to meet. Once the quality of the stuff in your life goes up, you want less of it.

Still, I’ll be the first to admit that I am not impervious to the siren call of stuff. While I may have unsubscribed to the mass market daily deal sites, I am tuned in to online folks who fall into the “people I admire” bucket who are constantly peddling stuff to me. Like, constantly. I bite, often, as it does not take up space in my home, but in my hard drive. It’s a whole new relationship with stuff, and a whole new way of consuming. Most of it is geared towards upping my game in my business & freelance life, but I’m realizing, it’s not that different from the stuff mentioned above.

While this post may have been initially inspired by the article in the Times, what flipped it from random thoughts in my head to a rambling blog post was some recent book peddling from those “people that I admire.” My realization (which might seem blatantly obvious) is that people are pushing their stuff on all of us at a rapid pace specifically to get magical bullet points under their name. It’s all a big race and hustle to get on, ironically, The New York Times Bestseller List, or to be the top book in X category on Amazon, or the first person to do this or do that. But you must buy now! And buy two! And tweet it to your friends! Share it on Facebook! Buy Buy Buy! NOW! Translation: You need more stuff, and you need it now, because I need those numbers.

There’s nothing wrong with having big goals, and yes, magical bullet points can open doors to exciting opportunities. They really do, just like an Ivy League degree does (I don’t have one). I’m just feeling a little unduped lately, and writing this post was a way for me to be more accountable for it.

I’d love to hear more about your relationship with stuff – whatever stuff means to you. Have too much of it? Could you do with some purging? Do you need more of a certain kind of stuff? Tell me more in the comments below…

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mentor me, mentor you

About a year and a half ago, I quit my job and started the freelance journey, for real. I was freelance for some time in my 20s, having just finished cooking school (yes, cooking school) and finding that web work was a far better way to pay bills in NYC than creating vegan meals.  In all honesty, I’m hoping that I can say that the reverse is true one day… but that’s a blog post for another day.

It’s been easy to long for the freelance life in Philly as the independent worker community is so vibrant here. Many people are making a living churning out all manner of websites, copywriting, software applications and other creative projects. Coworking spaces like the ultimate IndyHall and its brethren make it easy to find other indies to kibitz & collaborate with. There’s even a coworking space for parents in the works. Striking out on your own is not a problem in this town.

But this is not a post about coworking, Philly, or even freelancing. This is a post about growing your business, growing as a person, asking for help and giving help.

Since I went from paycheck earning employee to oh-shit-I-have-to-make-this-work freelancer, I’ve devoured some serious knowledge. Books, blogs, courses, e-books, newsletters, tweets, pretty much anything I could get my hands on for free and / or cheap. In many ways, my cup runneth over. My ratio of consumption to production is often out of balance.

Even though all of that information has been and continues to be helpful, I wouldn’t mind having someone I look up to give me a little advice from time to time.  I could use a good mentor — an honest to goodness, committed, inspirational, accountability-driving (or at a least fortune-cookie-message-delivering) mentor. As much as I love the idea of the wonderful Chris Bartlett’s Secret Mentors concept (<–you must read this article), I want something more tangible, more concrete. i.e. Let’s check in 2 weeks from now!

But where do you find a mentor?

I posed the question on twitter last week and got an interesting variety of answers. Many people found mentors through professional associations or through their jobs. Others had people they were inspired by, but didn’t want to bother them by asking them for mentorship or guidance, thinking they’d be a nuisance or that the people were inaccessible. Most people didn’t know where to look, even though they thought it was something that might benefit their progress in their career / creative journey.

Is there something wrong with this picture?

There’s a flip side to this coin. The more I thought about seeking a mentor, I realized that if I’m asking, I better be giving something back. I’m already a bit coachy with my pals, I’m sure I could be a good mentor to someone! In all seriousness, I do very much like to help people stay accountable with their goals and help them stay on track and push closer towards their innate brilliance. I believe that we have permission to go after the things that we care about and value in order to create a happy, sustainable career for ourselves.

Sometimes it helps to have an external party there to help push you along. Better yet, it’s often even more fulfilling to be the one cheering someone else on.

That being said, I leave you with a few questions.

Do me a solid and give me your gut reaction and honest answers to any of the questions below:

Do you think that mentorship would improve the path of your career? How so?

Have you actively worked with or sought out a mentor? If so, what was your method for establishing the relationship?

Do you believe that there should be an even exchange of mentorship? (i.e. If you receive a mentor, you’d agree to mentor someone else)

Are you looking to mentor someone? Where are they in life? (high school, college, early career, mid-career)

Will you be my mentor? Can I be yours? (possibly a trick question:) )

Don’t be shy! I can’t wait to learn more about your thoughts on mentorship!

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it belongs to the community

I’ve been kicking this post around in my head for a while (along with sooo many others) and it finally seems like the right time to get my thoughts out there. Over the last four years, I have learned a great deal about planning events & conferences, and quite frankly — hustling. I’ve run on excitement, enthusiasm, soy chai lattes and the thrill of bringing awesome educational & inspirational experiences to the good people of Philadelphia. I have learned so much about myself in the process, and seen the good (and the bad) side of people. This year, I’ve decided to step back a bit and I wanted to provide more context as to why. So here goes.

Barcamp Philly After Party Photobooth

In the summer of 2008, I stumbled across the opportunity to bring the global unconference Barcamp to Philadelphia alongside my now great friend JP Toto. BarCamp Philly was decidedly a huge hit. Each year has been a complete sellout and the geek love that sprouts from this event is impossible to measure. Friendships are formed, new collaborations are developed, shy people become impressive speakers, new jobs are landed!  4 years running, real shit has happened as a result of BarCamp Philly. I’m not trying to brag — it’s a people-powered event and Philly knows how to represent! I’m so grateful to my fellow organizers, JP, Kelani Nichole and Sarah Feidt for making it so. And yes, you read that right, a rockin’ tech conference put on by 3 chicks and 1 dude!

Fast forward a bit, 2 BarCamps down, the next opportunity strikes… TEDxPhilly! TEDx events had just started cropping up in cities around the world and it was Philly’s turn. Conversations had started, introductions were made, a license was granted. Since BarCamp Philly was on such an epic roll, I was ready to conquer this event. Biggest challenge I’ve ever taken on, by far. The first year we held the event at the Kimmel Center. After doing BarCamps in donated university space, this was crazy to me. Like, a real professional grownup event in a top shelf venue. I thought I had hit the big time. After it was over, I felt like I was run over by a truck. So many insane lessons learned, so much left to learn.

The second year was far better than the first. I put those hard won lessons to work in a multitude of ways. The team was more focused, the tools were more appropriate, the speakers were more aligned, the experience was more thoughtful, the venue was more accommodating, the sponsors were more generous. It was a worthy challenge to work out some of the things that didn’t work the first go ’round. Due to better planning, I was fortunate enough to simply watch the show like an audience member. Quite frankly, I was just plain tired.

So this is where I tell you why I participated in bringing these events to Philadelphia. Because I genuinely care. I want people to be moved, to connect with others, to learn something new, to think differently, to see something they haven’t seen before. This is all done on a volunteer basis, so I have to care!

Caring is in fact the reason why it’s hard not to hear the naysayers sometimes. The ones that bitch about the price, the speakers, the choices we made. I already know, I can’t and won’t ever be able to please everyone. That lesson is learned! It took some effort and a thick skin to learn it, but there you have it. I care, dammit! And I’ll have you know, I hear everything and I’m always listening.

So why is it time to move on?

It’s just time for me to see something new, experience something different, be an observer, be an attendee. It has been an incredible experience to create platforms for people to share their awesomeness with each other. I’m proud of this work and have great hope for the people who will take the reins in the future… people who have also invested huge parts of themselves in making these events a reality.

It belongs to the community.

That’s my magic phrase that is guiding this transition. It’s hard to let go of things you have worked so hard for, but I know that it’s what’s best for the events and it’s what’s best for me.

Carry on!

p.s. If you’ve been on this wild ride with me, please give a shout below. It’s fun to relive the memories with all of you :)

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learning to code

As 2011 quietly came to a close, never in my wildest dreams did I think that 2012 would kick off with a Code Year. It happened by accident really, just a brief glimpse at a twitter post encouraging all walks of life to make this The Year They Learned To Code. This free and accesible learning program is called Codecademy and all kinds of people from coding n00bs to seasoned geeks (and even Michael Bloomberg!) have jumped on board.

So far Codecademy is all about the JavaScript, aka the most commonly used language in the world. Yep, that’s what I’ve been told! So here in my little world of, you know, speaking English and writing HTML/CSS, I am pretty excited to add a new language to my repertoire. It may seem surprising that someone like me would be interested in delving into code, but honestly, not half as surprising as some of the people I’ve seen on twitter who are churning out variables, loops, and functions, oh my!

I’m truly excited to see the results of Code Year, both for myself and the countless people around the world who are seizing an incredible opportunity to pick up a new skill. Kudos to Codecademy for dreaming so big!

p.s. It’s not too late to sign up yourself!

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